suicide at 21

Have you experienced being abandoned by your family? Or being outcast in the field of family ties? Would you take the challenge by being the black sheep? Or will you swallow your pride for the sake of reunion? These thoughts mold my head as I reflect the things that happened in my life...

At 21, I got a lot of problems taken. I quit school because I didn't pay the tuition fee. I didn't bought a practicum uniform--I just used the money for my own. I am jobless, don't have money to survive. I'm nowhere, I just go to a place where I could have food. I got an ulcer due to lack of food. I am totally down...

I don't know if I could survive, i'm thinking of suiciding. It's hard to be in my situation, I don't have bullets to go with my life. I'm desperate, I lose my family and classmates. But I still have friends whom showed concerned in my situation.

What could a suicide can do with my problems? Is that really a big help? I'm thinking to do it right now. I don't think I could scape from this cage I made. I am completely different, this is not me anymore... I just let myself swallowed by the limelight of darkness.

Help me, I am in complete trouble. I really wanted to have a shining star on my head so that I may see the real things...